It is with much shame that I declare to the world that I know who Clinton Kelly is, and on the occasional Saturday night, I choose to watch “What not to wear” in an effort to spend some quality time with my bride. I should actually watch it more, not for the fashion tips, but because two kids and a busy life limits the quality time I spend with my bride. But I digress…
My job in the morning is to wake the kids up and get them dressed for the day. If we’re going to Nannie’s or Nana’s, I don’t care if they go in their pj’s or a robot suit (which we have done). If we’re going to school or out in public, I pick out what they wear, and until recently, it hasn’t been up for discussion. That leads us to today!
Now that the boy is older, he is slowly but surely learning how to get himself dressed. We start the morning, like we ended last night….he’s got is underwear on backwards. I’m proud that he is able to get is underwear on, but there’s a running joke among the men in our family about the kind of man that where’s his underwear backwards, and it’s not good! I make him turn his “drawers” around like a good homophobic dad will do (tantrum #1). Next I pick out the pants, and a cool spiderman shirt, but he doesn’t like the pants because they’re not soft. After a couple other suggestions, I let him pick. I was so proud that he picked the camo pants!, only to find out that he wants to wear the spiderman shirt, which doesn’t match the camo at all, so I make him wear a dull gray shirt (tantrum #2). Now time for the shoes. Instead of wearing the normal good looking “run fast shoes”, he wants to wear the black Velcro homeless guy shoes. I balk. (tantrum #3) I hate these shoes for the sole reason that they look like the same shoes you see from the People at Wal-Mart website…you know, the 500lb slobby guy with a sweet mullet, that wears them with dirty sweat pants that are too short, and socks that don’t match! Yup, the very same shoes! Luckily, we only find one, and we agree on the standard “run fast shoes”, only for him to shout with exuberance “I found the other one daddy”! Oh Brother! At this point I give up, and he puts the shoes on the wrong feet and proudly walks away, only for me to notice that the camo pants are way too short and the white ankle socks are highlighted by 3 inches of bare leg! Yet again, I’m whipped, and to argue the point further is the definition of futility!
I know a good parent would have stopped this at tantrum #1, and normally I do. But I didn’t sleep well, and I didn’t want to deal with the drama that comes with a good butt-whipping.
Thankfully for my wife, I ain’t no Clinton Kelly…unfortunately, some days I’m no James Dobson either!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Welcome!
Welcome to my blog! After much internal debate about whether or not blogging is purely a “girly” thing to do, I’ve decided that, for whatever reason, I am confident in my own masculinity and might have a nugget of wisdom to share with the world. With that said, I’m clinging to the saying that “even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then”.
I’ve decided to call this blog “REEDer’s Digest”. I hope my spelling error will preclude me from any copyright infringement suits! At any rate, I kinda like the title. When I think of the actual publication of Reader’s Digest, I always think of it being the only book available in the doctor’s office, or probably more appropriate, the one book you grab when you feel that certain urge, and you know you’re going to be on the can for a while.
So let’s run with the toilet analogy! Most everyone that I know of who is a subscriber to the actual Reader’s Digest (most notably my father-in-law), only reads it while on the “throne” and after several minute of reading, they always come away with two things: their feet have fallen asleep, and they have managed to pull some random story or truism to share with others. I personally like the “drama in real life” section.
To be honest, I don’t really care if you fall asleep, because I’m really just writing this for me. And some of you might need something like this to help put you to sleep, so that could be a free service. Otherwise, if you come away with a nugget of wisdom that’s great, if you don’t then I can always use this as evidence in a trial to prove that I really don’t have any sense, and hopefully the jury will think that I’m just too stupid to be guilty!
On a side note, I told Angie that I was going to start a blog and call it “REEDer’s Digest”. I was a little confused when she rolled her eyes and brushed me off, only to find out that she thought I was going to call it “Breeder’s Digest”. Although it’s not a bad idea, I’m a little concerned that my wife just takes everything I say as a perverted remark, but she’s always relieved when that’s not the case!
I’ve decided to call this blog “REEDer’s Digest”. I hope my spelling error will preclude me from any copyright infringement suits! At any rate, I kinda like the title. When I think of the actual publication of Reader’s Digest, I always think of it being the only book available in the doctor’s office, or probably more appropriate, the one book you grab when you feel that certain urge, and you know you’re going to be on the can for a while.
So let’s run with the toilet analogy! Most everyone that I know of who is a subscriber to the actual Reader’s Digest (most notably my father-in-law), only reads it while on the “throne” and after several minute of reading, they always come away with two things: their feet have fallen asleep, and they have managed to pull some random story or truism to share with others. I personally like the “drama in real life” section.
To be honest, I don’t really care if you fall asleep, because I’m really just writing this for me. And some of you might need something like this to help put you to sleep, so that could be a free service. Otherwise, if you come away with a nugget of wisdom that’s great, if you don’t then I can always use this as evidence in a trial to prove that I really don’t have any sense, and hopefully the jury will think that I’m just too stupid to be guilty!
On a side note, I told Angie that I was going to start a blog and call it “REEDer’s Digest”. I was a little confused when she rolled her eyes and brushed me off, only to find out that she thought I was going to call it “Breeder’s Digest”. Although it’s not a bad idea, I’m a little concerned that my wife just takes everything I say as a perverted remark, but she’s always relieved when that’s not the case!
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