Parking Spots and Porn Stars

I’m definitely not one to bemoan my lot in life, but I admit that in moments of weakness, the concept of luck bothers me greatly. It’s taken me 32 years, but I think I’ve finally got it figured out!
You see, I believe that just before God allows Mr. Stork to deliver us to this world, he gently rubs his chin until that little smirk crosses his face, and he smacks us on our little baby behind and christens us with our gift of luck! For me, he decided that I should have the gift of good parking spots….yup, parking spots, of all things. Most days I can enter a busy parking lot, and somehow the red sea of Monster Trucks and Minivans parts perfectly for me to smoothly squeeze into a close parking spot. Of all the things in the world, somehow I draw the gift of a good parking spot?...now I know why God smiled that silly little smirk!

There are a lot of days that go by when I pull into a sweet parking spot, curse my luck and think that I would have much rather been blessed with the gift of being hung like a porn star and marry a woman with nymphomaniacal tendencies, or be like that fella that has won the state lottery 3 or 4 times, but instead I GET A FREAKING PARKING SPOT! Or what about all of the golf tournaments, NRA banquets, and countless other raffles I pay too much money for the chance to win a new driver, awesome shot gun, or some other cool prize? Nope, I take the short walk to my sweet parking spot, all the while admiring my bag of tees, ball cap and koozy! Or when I go to Shreveport just knowing that I’ll be the one to sit down and hit spin on the wheel of fortune at just the time the casino gods decide to pay the big money? Nope, 2 hours later I take my short walk to the car with a lighter wallet, clothes that smell like smoke, and wondering what happened to that beer I ordered an hour ago.

Thankfully, I soon come to my senses and realize that most porn stars end up with a VD, you have to actually play the lottery before you can win it, I shouldn’t have overpaid to play a crappy round of golf, or enter that raffle for the gun, and I should never sit at the wheel of fortune with any hope of winning, much less getting my drink on time.

More than that I also realize that at the end of every day, God has blessed me with the best parking spot I could ever ask for, and I just have a short walk into a great house, with a beautiful wife and two kids (soon to be 3) who love to scream “DADDY’S HOME”, and for that gift, I’m the luckiest man in the world.